A woman is digging a hole.
Another woman walks up and stares for a minute.
Watcher. Almost there?
Digger. Not quite sure.
Watcher. Yeah…
Digger crouches down and feels the floor of the hole.
Watcher. Hot? Is it hot?
Digger. Cold.
Watcher. Huh…
Digger. Yeah, I know. Strange.
Watcher. Strange.
Digger. Yeah, I know.
Pause
Digger decides to keep digging.
Watcher pulls out a soda.
Watcher. Want one?
Digger. No.
Digger digs.
Watcher watches.
A ‘clink’ is heard.
They get excited.
Watcher. What was that?
Digger. A clink. It’s shiny. IT’S SHINY!!
Watcher. Dig it! Dig it! Dig it!
Digger. I’m digging! It’s shiny! Oh! It’s so shiny!!
Watcher. Get it!
Digger digs real fast and throws her shovel.
She bends down and grabs what was in the hole.
Watcher. Drag it up!
Digger. Help me!
Watcher. Ugh.
Watcher gets in the hole.
They both emerge.
The drag a man’s corpse.
Watcher. Get the watch!
Digger. Gold bracelet.
Watcher. Rings.
Digger. There are two.
Watcher. Three. Check the pinky.
Digger. Right.
Watcher. Shoes.
Digger. Necklace.
Watcher. Wallet?
Digger. They don’t bury you with a wallet.
Watcher. Check anyway. Dad always had his wallet on him not matter what.
Digger flips the corpse over and checks his pockets.
Mother appears from the shadows.
Mother. Looking for something?
Mother is dangling a wallet from between her fingers.
Watcher. Mom!
Mother. Seventy-two dollars and Ten Euros.
Digger. Give it!
Digger lunges to Mother.
They wrestle.
Obscenities are exchanged.
Digger. Whore!
Mother. Slut!
Digger. Bitch!
Mother. Cunt!
Digger. AAAHHHH!!!
In one final struggle, Digger wins the wallet.
Mother. I want the body then.
Watcher. What can you do with it?
Mother. Sell it to science. Taxidermy, maybe. Hell if I know.
Digger. Fine. Have it.
Mother goes over and drags the body off.
Mother. Ungrateful bitches. Should have killed you when I had the chance.
Watcher. What we get?
Digger. A lot. We got a lot!!
Watcher. Three hundred?
Digger. Four hundred, probably.
Watcher. Yes!
Beat
Digger. Um… here.
Watcher. What?
Digger. It’s one of the rings.
Watcher. Well, let’s just sell everything together then we can split the money. That way we are for sure that it’s even.
Digger. No. I want you to have this ring.
Beat
Digger. Marry me.
Watcher. You’re disgusting.
Digger. I’ve known you my entire life and I love you. I know it doesn’t make sense. But somehow it does. Please. Marry me.
Watcher. I can’t.
Digger. Please.
Watcher. No. It isn’t right.
Beat
Digger. I hate you.
Digger tackles Watcher and straddles on top of her and begins shoving their newfound riches into her mouth until she chokes and dies.
Digger then drags watcher’s body into the hole and begins to fill it up.
Digger begins to cry and talk to herself.
Digger. Almost there?
Not quite sure.
Yeah…
It’s cold.
Strange.
End
